What .... is this feeling?

sorry, again. i don't know why i have like 20 drafts stored up. and the posts are all half finished, too. i don't understand why i'm doing that. whatever, moving on and publishing this now.

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fervid as a flame, does it have a name....? - Wicked

be warned: this is going to be a weird post.


yesterday was elliot's funeral. [see last post] i bawled. so did storm and tara and tucker and i saw brandon at the front with a red face. we squeezed each other's hands until they hurt. and we hugged. we actually laughed. the celebration that his mom and the minister lead was sweet and full of happy memories.

and when i got home, i felt .... okay. content. happy, even. i really need to catch up on work because i've had this weird block in my mind, especially concerning french. since sunday, i haven't been able to translate anything except single words. i couldn't fit it all together into a coherent phrase or sentence. i mean, i got the gist of it, but it was like i wasn't used to translating. it's hard to explain. anyway, yesterday i sat down and i could translate. easily. i was alternating french homework, pandora, and armor games, so i hadn't noticed at first. but