HELL WEEK!!!!!
(insert a cluttered calendar that takes up too much space here)
PHEWW
i'm getting tired just thinking about it. must be why they call it hell week :D
all the same, i am freaking excited........
.......but I'm still sad. I can't help it. I mean, I'm still thinking about him all the time. I still haven't done much of anything in English. (To be honest I thought I'd be out of that class by now) I haven't broken down since the 5th. I almost did though, on my way home from drivers ed, talking about the whole testing process. He would have gotten it last week. I would've been begging him for rides.
And it's really biting at me that he won't be there on Friday - not that he would've come anyway. But i would have had my phone on me illegally, and he'd probably text me trying to start up a convo because he's bored. And I keep thinking of prom (which i don't even care about, right?) and he's going to miss it.He went in 7th grade for that one dance and we taught like 6 people how to dance....
I have this big vacant spot that used to be filled with my best (male) friend in the whole world. So I think my subconscious is trying to fill that gap by finding another best friend. And I am consciously feeling awful about that.
I've completely stopped knitting. I realize now that it was only because of Marc. Does it make sense that this realization really pisses me off? This was one of the things that I wanted to talk to him about on that Monday (the 2nd). I knew i needed to talk to him but by my own social lines, I told myself to wait until I had him to myself on the bus. Now I don't have him at all! It's not fair.
It's just. not. FAIR!
okay. fine. i'll probably cry tomorrow. It's been building since last Wednesday.
